I've recently returned from Paradise.
Well, if Paradise can be said to serve as an introduction to the realm of functional alcoholism whilst simultaneously turning one's body (lobster red) golden brown, then that is most definitely where I've just come from.
The Daily Routine in Paradise:
6:30 am: get up, reserve poolside chairs under those lovely umbrella-hut things.
6:45 am: coffee and a little Wheel of Time audiobook action.
7:30 am: shower.
8:00 am: meet Elvys at the buffet.
8:15 am: stuff oneself full of crêpes. Creep on the incredibly cute French couple sitting across from you.
9:00 am: begin poolside chilling.
9:30 am: hello Ms. Austen.
10:00 am: drinks. Repeat approximately every 15-20 minutes.
10:30 am: observe (from swim-up bar) but do not participate in, aqua-fit class led by a man in a chicken costume.
11:30 am - 12:55 pm: drink and swim in ocean as required. Observe frustrated parents and mentally take notes for when you have your own children, fully knowing these will never be anything more than hypothetical.
1:00 pm: meet Elvys at the buffet.
1:45 pm- 6:30 pm: drink and swim in ocean as required, always remembering to creep on the regulars, be they the French Boys or Inappropriately Dressed Speedo Guy.
7:00 pm: shower.
7:30 pm: à la carte dinner. I would like to recommend something off of the Menu of Children.
8:30 pm - 9:30 pm: nap.
9:45 pm- 10: 45 pm: people watch at pervert's row.
11:00 pm: watch, but do not participate in, incredibly horrible karaoke at the bar.
11:30 pm: follow the conga line into the Discothèque.
11:35 pm - 2:00 am: shake your groove thing. Do not forget to "get low". Frequently contemplate the mechanics of dancing in flip flops versus heels...
2:00 am - 3:00 am: beach party.
3:30 am: sleep.
Lather, Rinse, Repeat.
1 comment:
Was he really in a chicken costume??
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